Great summary of some general common assumptions. However, there is more...
The evolutionary explanation is a good one: "Organisms that treat threats (losses) as more urgent than opportunities have a higher chance of survival."
The quantitative equation "more good can outweigh the bad" has limited value.
This might be true in maths. It doesn't work like that in real life. Negative and positive (actions, experiences, feelings etc.) are not absolutes but dependent circumstances.
"in a romantic relationship each partner can make an effort to be nice to the other consistently. Such small acts of kindness are important to fight the bads that will eventually occur."
This theory is based on the assumption that romantic relationships are transactional. Who says that 'bads will eventually occur'? What kind of 'bads'?
When people fall in love, they might not be compatible with each other. They can (and usually do) make efforts with acts of kindness to cover up this fact. No amount of 'goods' will outweigh the fundamental 'bad' which will eventually rise to the surface.
Yeah I would argue if two people meet and just one of them expresses his “negative / dark side” while the other one pretends to be all “positive / good” we create a fake space that’s not actually real.
But if two people together dive into their shadows consciously there is always something beautiful happening.
We have to go with the flow of the other, dance not fight it :)
Another thoughtful and interesting piece, Giacomo! Ya know, the bad things of life have definitely stayed with me longer - feelings, memories etc. But I think the good are more dependent on DECISIONS. Each day I have the choice to do good things or remember the good.
Alex Hailey in his book Roots wrote "Find the good and praise it" ... ah that is a good way to spend the day.
The cherry-cockroach example stuck in my mind. I have experienced it myself so many times during sales that one negative event has stuck so starkly in people's mind that they don't even try to see the other 100 benefits of the product.
Would love to know your thoughts on how this could be avoided? How can I still enjoy my cherries even if I see a cockroach with them.
That's a great question, Kapil, and one that's difficult to answer.
I'm currently reading the book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck," and one idea that really stuck with me is the notion that desiring something more positive for yourself is inherently negative, while accepting a negative thing is positive. It's a journey and something we will always have to battle with, but this reminder is giving me guidance in this process.
Great summary of some general common assumptions. However, there is more...
The evolutionary explanation is a good one: "Organisms that treat threats (losses) as more urgent than opportunities have a higher chance of survival."
The quantitative equation "more good can outweigh the bad" has limited value.
This might be true in maths. It doesn't work like that in real life. Negative and positive (actions, experiences, feelings etc.) are not absolutes but dependent circumstances.
"in a romantic relationship each partner can make an effort to be nice to the other consistently. Such small acts of kindness are important to fight the bads that will eventually occur."
This theory is based on the assumption that romantic relationships are transactional. Who says that 'bads will eventually occur'? What kind of 'bads'?
When people fall in love, they might not be compatible with each other. They can (and usually do) make efforts with acts of kindness to cover up this fact. No amount of 'goods' will outweigh the fundamental 'bad' which will eventually rise to the surface.
I don’t need science just math :)
(-)x(-)=(+) positive wins
(-)x(+)=(-) negative wins
(+)x(+)=(+) positive wins
So positive wins 2:1 against the negative 💁♂️
😂 loved it!
However, just the fact that (-)x(+)=(-) it says something in favor of bad > good.
Don't you think?
Yeah I would argue if two people meet and just one of them expresses his “negative / dark side” while the other one pretends to be all “positive / good” we create a fake space that’s not actually real.
But if two people together dive into their shadows consciously there is always something beautiful happening.
We have to go with the flow of the other, dance not fight it :)
Great piece Giacomo.
Grappling with the fact that negative experiences have more impact has been a concern of mine for a while.
I think just being cognizant of it is important, as it is the first step towards magnifying the good.
How do you think we best magnify the good? Do you have any concrete experiences?
Thanks, Rasmus.
The only certainty is that I have the ownership to create more good and the responsibility to react properly when bad things happen.
When we are content with the good that we have, it is easier to be grateful for it, and therefore enlarge it and amplify it.
I know it’s a never-ending journey, and I am willing to embark on it.
It was a pleasure to read this post. Well-observed and collected info. Thank you!
Thank you Katerina 🙂
Another thoughtful and interesting piece, Giacomo! Ya know, the bad things of life have definitely stayed with me longer - feelings, memories etc. But I think the good are more dependent on DECISIONS. Each day I have the choice to do good things or remember the good.
Alex Hailey in his book Roots wrote "Find the good and praise it" ... ah that is a good way to spend the day.
Thanks for this comment, Phil!
100% agree.
Cherishing the good is a never ending journey.
The cherry-cockroach example stuck in my mind. I have experienced it myself so many times during sales that one negative event has stuck so starkly in people's mind that they don't even try to see the other 100 benefits of the product.
Would love to know your thoughts on how this could be avoided? How can I still enjoy my cherries even if I see a cockroach with them.
That's a great question, Kapil, and one that's difficult to answer.
I'm currently reading the book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck," and one idea that really stuck with me is the notion that desiring something more positive for yourself is inherently negative, while accepting a negative thing is positive. It's a journey and something we will always have to battle with, but this reminder is giving me guidance in this process.